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ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. ? Boise State football coach Chris Petersen walked out of the locker room to meet the media after another closer-than-it-should-have-been victory Saturday at University Stadium.

?How are you?? somebody asked.

?Three and one,? Petersen replied, citing the team?s record knowing that he?d face another set of questions about the Broncos? inability to finish.

The Broncos squandered nearly all of a 25-point halftime lead on their way to a 32-29 defeat of New Mexico, a rebuilding program that appears on its way out of the Mountain West cellar.

Boise State built its 25-0 lead with help from three New Mexico fumbles.

The Lobos (2-3) fought back in the conference opener thanks to two Broncos fumbles, including one on the opening kickoff of the second half.

?We?ll never question their heart,? Petersen said of his players. ?We told them that in the locker room. I think those guys compete and go hard, but we?ve got to play better.?

On a day when the offense showed significant improvement in the red zone (four TDs in six drives) ? junior quarterback Joe Southwick played his best game (career highs of 311 yards and three TDs) and senior D.J. Harper and redshirt freshman Jay Ajayi combined for 216 rushing yards ? it was the previously reliable defense that blinked.

New Mexico scored touchdowns on its first four second-half drives without throwing a pass, including 96- and 75-yard marches. The Lobos used their triple-option attack to rush for 330 yards overall.

?Their coach did a great job working off us,? said senior defensive tackle Mike Atkinson, who forced two fumbles during the first half. ?They came out and played completely different football. We didn?t do our job as well as we should have. Give respect to their coach and their players.?

Petersen predicted this might happen at his Monday press conference, when he was grilled about the underperforming offense.

?We could be having this same conversation about our defense next week,? he said then.

New Mexico gashed Boise State on an outside option play in the second half where the Lobos always seemed to have the quarterback and a pitch man against one defender ? an impossible situation for the defense. They hit plays of 27, 29 and 40 yards to key the two long touchdown drives.

?We?re trying to mix up some calls, mix up some blitzes, to take some chances,? Petersen said. ?It can turn into a guessing game out there and that?s a scary situation.?

Boise State?s offense was nearly unstoppable in the first half ? with three touchdowns, a field goal and a punt before choosing to run out the clock in the final minute (Petersen didn?t want to risk a turnover, he said). New Mexico crossed the Boise State 40 twice but fumbled both times.

?The first half was awesome, we did a great job,? Southwick said.

The second half was another story ? almost another game.

And it started with the first play. Sophomore Dallas Burroughs fumbled on the kickoff return, handing the ball to the Lobos on the Boise State 26-yard line.

?In the second half, we came out fighting and showed them we were not giving up,? said linebacker Joe Stoner, whose team won one game each of the past three seasons. ?This is a whole different era. We just want them to know that if you are going to come into our home turf, you are going to have to play us for the whole four quarters.?

The Broncos seemed to regain control early in the fourth quarter with an 8-yard TD catch by Shane Williams-Rhodes for a 32-14 lead.

Williams-Rhodes, the true freshman with electrifying quickness, caught a quick hitch at the line of scrimmage, faked inside and cut outside ? leaving the defensive back spinning in place.

?That was a dynamic play,? said sophomore receiver Matt Miller, who led the team with nine catches for 68 yards. ?I wish I could do that. That just shows how explosive he is and what he can do in this offense.?

New Mexico came back with its own TD and Williams-Rhodes, who had a key fumble at Michigan State, lost the football again on the ensuing drive. Stoner scooped the ball and ran to the Boise State 1, where freshman running quarterback Cole Gautsche scored a touchdown and two-point conversion to pull within 32-29 with 7:42 left.

?That?s a back-breaker,? Petersen said.

After a missed field goal, New Mexico took over at its own 27 with 3:24 to tie or win the game. The Lobos didn?t even get a first down.

On third-and-3, senior linebacker Tommy Smith read the play perfectly and tackled Gautsche for a 1-yard loss. On fourth-and-4, starting quarterback B.R. Holbrook ? the passer who barely played in the second half ? entered and dropped back to throw.

Smith was responsible for the back, who stayed in to block. Free to roam, Smith anticipated a throw to the wide side of the field and slipped into the passing lane. He dropped the interception ? but a breakup was good enough.

?I?m proud of our guys, how hard they fight, and they make plays when they need to,? Petersen said. ?On both sides, they really did that. It wasn?t pretty.?

Chadd Cripe: 377-6398, Twitter: @IDS_BroncoBeat

Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/IdahostatesmancomNewsUpdates/~3/sdvK5-Ur4io/almost-eaten-alive.html

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KIEV, Ukraine (AP) ? Ukraine's jailed former Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko is urging her country to defeat President Viktor Yanukovych's party in next month's parliamentary election.

In an emotional video appeal, Tymoshenko accused Yanukovych of turning Ukraine into a "police state."

Her lawyer says the video, released Saturday, was recorded by him on a cellphone in a hospital where she is receiving treatment for back pain. It was the first such video since she was jailed over a year ago on charges of abuse of office.

The West has condemned her imprisonment as politically motivated. Tymoshenko urged Ukrainians to support her party in the Oct. 28 election and end Yanukovych's alleged "criminal" rule.

Yanukovych's Party of Regions hopes to maintain its parliamentary majority; the next presidential election is in 2015.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/imprisoned-tymoshenko-makes-video-appeal-103948405.html

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Washington State completes a sharpshooter cull of a wolf pack that had been feeding on livestock. KING 5's Gary Chittim reports.

By Miguel Llanos, NBC News

The chairman of the state Senate committee that oversees?Washington's Department of Fish & Wildlife tells NBC News that the killing of a gray wolf pack in recent days was?"inexcusable" and that he is demanding?answers about why the agency thought it was necessary.??

"I find it inexcusable that we allowed ourselves to get to a place where killing the entire pack was the necessary decision when other non-lethal options ? within the department and with ranchers ? were not totally exhausted first," said Sen. Kevin Ranker, chair of the Senate Natural Resources and Marine Waters Committee.?

"I find it ironic that the attacks on livestock that caused this situation ... took place on a ranch that has been outspoken about the removal of the pack and has refused to work with the department to implement prevention measures successfully adopted by other ranchers," he added.

The department gave the order to kill the entire pack, estimated to be eight wolves, after?the pack?became accustomed to attacking cattle instead of relying on wild prey.

"To say I am disappointed in the department's actions would be a gross understatement," Ranker said. "I can tell you, however, as the chair of the committee with oversight over the Department of Fish & Wildlife, this story is far from over."

In a letter Friday to the department, Ranker demanded to know:

What specific actions the department?took before authorizing the kill;
Exact costs associated with killing the pack;
What actions the department will take to avoid a repeat.

The department "has provided very general descriptions of a few non-lethal measures taken" under the state?plan for managing gray wolves,?he said in the letter. "The wolf plan however includes an extensive list of husbandry techniques, non-lethal deterrents, and relocation options that were not utilized in the case of the Wedge pack. The fact that the Department pursued removal of not just individual animals, but the entire pack, clearly evidences the agency's failure to effectively use these non-lethal tools to deter wolf-livestock depredation."

Ranker also said the department's strategy for managing gray wolves?could backfire. "I fear that the Department?s actions?... will be viewed by some who do not support wolf recovery as setting a precedent that localized public pressure can dictate wolf plan implementation, including lethal removal decisions," he stated.

Related: Wolf pack eliminated, state says
Read our first report on the controversy, and take our vote

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Source: http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/09/29/14151323-killing-of-wolf-pack-criticized-by-key-washington-state-lawmaker

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brandlclara63 · ScienceDaily (Sep. 28, 2012)

ScienceDaily (Sep. 28, 2012) ? Detailed observations of Saturn?s moon Titan have now spanned 30 years, covering an entire solar orbit for this distant world. Dr Athena Coustenis from the Paris-Meudon Observatory in France has analysed data gathered over this time and has found that the changing seasons of Titan affect it more than previously thought. Dr Coustenis will present these results at the European Planetary Science Congress in Madrid on Friday 28th September.

Explains Dr Coustenis, ?As with Earth, conditions on Titan change with its seasons. We can see differences in atmospheric temperatures, chemical composition and circulation patterns, especially at the poles. For example, hydrocarbon lakes form around the north polar region during winter due to colder temperatures and condensation. Also, a haze layer surrounding Titan at the northern pole is significantly reduced during the equinox because of the atmospheric circulation patterns. This is all very surprising because we didn?t expect to find any such rapid changes, especially in the deeper layers of the atmosphere.?

The main cause of these cycles is solar radiation. This is the dominant energy source for Titan?s atmosphere, breaking up the nitrogen and methane present to create more complex molecules, such as ethane, and acting as the driving force for chemical changes. Titan is inclined at around 27 degrees, similar to the Earth, meaning that the cause of seasons ? sunlight reaching different areas with varying intensity due to the tilt ? is the same for both worlds. Says Dr Coustenis, ?It?s amazing to think that the Sun still dominates over other energy sources even as far out as Titan, over 1.5 billion kilometres from us.?

To draw these conclusions data was analysed from several different missions, including Voyager 1 (1980), the Infrared Space Observatory (1997), and Cassini (2004 onwards), complemented by ground-based observations. Each season on Titan spans around 7.5 years, while it takes 29.5 years for Saturn to orbit the Sun, so data has now been gathered for an entire Titan year, encapsulating all seasons.

Dr Coustenis explains why it is important to investigate this distant moon: ?Titan is the best opportunity we have to study conditions very similar to our own planet in terms of climate, meteorology and astrobiology and at the same time a unique world on its own, a paradise for exploring new geological, atmospheric and internal processes.?

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Source: http://feeds.sciencedaily.com/~r/sciencedaily/top_news/top_science/~3/-YeLS3874qw/120928085222.htm

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Charter schools are not a silver bullet for education reform, a new report says, but applying the best practices from some charter schools to low-performing public schools may increase student achievement.

Early data show that the strategy ? applied in Houston and Denver pilot programs ? yielded ?promising? results, according to the report, titled "Learning from the Successes and Failures of Charter Schools" and released Thursday by the Hamilton Project at the Brookings Institution.

The study could help improve cooperation between charter schools and traditional schools, which have often viewed each other as competitors. The debate about whether charter schools or traditional schools are more effective is a false one and misses the central point, said secretary of Education Arne Duncan at the Hamilton Project?s education forum Thursday in Washington.

RECOMMENDED: Obama vs. Romney 101: 5 differences on education

?The question isn?t: Do we need more charter schools, traditional schools, gifted schools, or magnet schools?? he said. ?We need better public schools. Kids don?t know what kind of school they go to. All they ask is, ?Do I have a good teacher?? ?

The report focuses on the work that Harvard economics professor Roland Fryer did with the Houston Independent School District (HISD) to develop a pilot program targeting nine of Houston?s lowest-performing middle and high schools in 2010-11 and 11 elementary schools in 2011-12.

Dr. Fryer, who is the faculty director of Harvard?s Education Innovations Laboratories (EdLabs), studied 35 charter schools in New York and discovered the top five practices that separate low- and high-achieving charter schools: (1) extended time at school, (2) strong administrators and teachers, (3) data-driven instruction, (4) small-group tutoring, and (5) creating a ?culture of high expectations.?

Fryer and HISD superintendent Terry Grier used grants from the US Department of Education and private funding ? together totaling $2,200 per student ? to implement the five practices. To meet those goals, the schools:

Extended the academic year by five days and added one hour to each day.

Replaced 53 percent of the teachers and all of the school principals.

Assessed the students every six weeks, reviewed the effectiveness of teaching methods from the data they had gathered, and set new goals.

Gave sixth- and ninth-graders two-on-one math instruction by full-time tutors.

Established a culture of high expectations by posting goals in the classrooms.

Dr. Grier said that fixing low-performing schools is not rocket science. ?I?ve never been to a high-performing school that didn?t have a good principal and good teachers,? Grier said at the Hamilton forum.

The report says the test scores, especially for math, increased dramatically (though it did not include the test scores). Fryer calculated that the progress in Houston was equivalent to giving the students an additional 3-1/2 months of math instruction and three weeks of reading instruction. The report shows similar progress for the pilot program in Denver, which began in 2011.

Fryer says he is optimistic that other school districts can adopt these methods and achieve similar results. But there are still barriers that Fryer sees to broader acceptance of his methods.

?The biggest challenge we have right now is: Do we have the right talent?? Fryer says. ?Do we have a big enough pool of leaders and teachers who want to do this work? It?s incredibly difficult.?

Part of that work is building cooperation between charter schools and traditional schools. Fryer?s research is helping to transform the debate about charter schools, says Steve Mancini, public affairs director for the charter school network Knowledge is Power Program (KIPP).

?He is bridging the gap between the academic ivory tower and front lines,? says Mr. Mancini. ?He takes research and makes it relevant for the neediest kids.?

KIPP?s schools already employ Fryer?s suggested practices and are working with school districts to develop programs and leadership training to introduce successful charter school elements into traditional schools this year. Mancini says this indicates a shifting in policy that is less rigid and more collaborative.

This ?cross-pollination? is breaking down the barriers and confrontation that often exist between proponents of strict charter-school methods and proponents of traditional-school methods, says Mitchell Chester, Massachusetts education commissioner.

?We want to make that impermeable wall permeable,? Commissioner Chester says. ?What lessons we can learn and share so that we can start to think about models that don?t fit neatly into one camp or another.?

RECOMMENDED: Obama vs. Romney 101: 5 differences on education

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Work by Mass. lab could taint 1,100 inmates' cases

BOSTON (AP) ? Faced with the daunting task of evaluating more than 34,000 drug cases handled by a Massachusetts chemist accused of misconduct, prosecutors and defense attorneys are starting with 1,140 cases of people who are already serving prison sentences based on potentially tainted evidence.

David Meier, a defense attorney and former prosecutor appointed to help sort through the legal quagmire created by the chemist's alleged actions, on Monday turned over a list of 690 people currently serving sentences in state prisons and 450 who are currently serving sentences in county jails. Samples in all of the cases were tested by chemist Annie Dookhan, who state police say failed to follow testing protocols and deliberately mishandled evidence in some cases.

Meier said it is unclear how many of those samples might have been tainted by Dookhan's actions, but said both sides want to deal first with people who are already in prison.

"That is our first priority, people who are presently incarcerated," he said.

Meier said lawyers in those cases will now have to work out resolutions on a case-by-case basis.

"The merits and any alleged issues in any one of those cases is for prosecutors and defense attorneys and judges to determine," he said.

State police have said Dookhan was involved in testing more than 60,000 drug samples involving about 34,000 defendants during her nine years at the Boston lab. Dookhan resigned in March during an internal investigation by the state Department of Public Health, which ran the lab until state police took over on July 1 as part of a budget directive.

Meier, who was appointed by Gov. Deval Patrick last week, met Monday with a group of district attorneys, defense attorneys and public safety officials. After the meeting, Meier said he turned over a list of currently incarcerated defendants whose cases were worked on by Dookhan, either as the primary chemist, who performs an initial test on a drug sample, or as the secondary chemist, who performs a second, confirmatory test.

The list does not include thousands of people who are currently awaiting trial, are on probation or are serving federal sentences in cases in which Dookhan tested drug samples.

Since the lab was closed last month, judges in Suffolk and Norfolk counties have already begun to hear motions filed by defense attorneys seeking bail reductions for drug defendants awaiting trial in cases handled by Dookhan. Prosecutors have agreed to many of those motions, citing possibly tainted evidence.

Dookhan hasn't been charged, but the state attorney general's office is conducting a criminal investigation.

On Monday, a judge in Boston agreed to put the sentences of career criminal David Huffman on hold and set bail for him at $75,000 cash, with GPS monitoring. The 55-year-old Huffman had pleaded guilty in August to trafficking in heroin and cocaine, possession of oxycodone with the intent to distribute and unlawful possession of ammunition and a firearm as an armed career criminal He began serving concurrent seven- to 10-year sentences last month.

Huffman's lawyer, Bernard Grossberg, said the next step will likely be for the defense to ask that Huffman be allowed to withdraw his guilty plea.

"He would not have pleaded guilty to the gun charges if it was not part and parcel of his plea on the drug charges," Grossberg said.

Jake Wark, a spokesman for Suffolk District Attorney Dan Conley, said prosecutors opposed the motion to put his sentence on the gun charges on hold. He said the gun evidence was tested in a different lab and was unaffected by the drug lab scandal.

"This is an individual who's been involved in just about every type of property and violent crime over the course of 40 years. He is a mid-tier narcotics distributor and was a plague on the community," Wark said.

"We believe the judge should have treated the two cases separately," he said.

Dookhan has not responded to repeated requests for comment. Her father, Rasheed Khan, told The Associated Press that she had been "bullied and abused," but he would not say by whom.

"No one has heard her side of the story," Khan said outside his home in Kissimmee, Fla., on Saturday.

State police have said Dookhan failed to follow testing protocols and deliberately mishandled evidence in some cases.

In a letter sent to defense attorneys earlier this month, Max Stern, the president of the Massachusetts Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers, said he was told during a meeting with state officials that Dookhan was accused of deliberately tampering with evidence, including the weight of drug samples, which can affect the length of sentences given to drug defendants.

___

Associated Press Writer Mike Schneider contributed from Kissimmee, Fla.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/mass-lab-could-taint-1-100-inmates-cases-062414913.html

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Salesforce launches new social media software

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But what do your friends think?\",\"POLL_HEADER\":\"SOCIAL SENTIMENT\",\"SERVER_ERROR\":\"Oops there seems to be some error, please try again later\",\"LOADING\":\"Loading...\",\"SHARE_AFTER_COMMENT\":\"Your response has been shared on Facebook.\",\"UNDO\":\"Undo\",\"UNIT_PEOPLE\":\"People\",\"NUM_PEOPLE_DISAGREE\":\"disagree with your opinion.\",\"READ_MORE_TEXT\":\"Read what they have to say.\",\"SLIDER_THUMB_WORDING_BEFORE_VOTING\":\"WHAT DO YOU THINK?\",\"SLIDER_THUMB_WORDING_VERB_BEFORE_VOTING\":\"DRAG\",\"SLIDER_THUMB_WORDING_THANKS_VOTING\":\"Thanks for voting\",\"NUM_PEOPLE_ANSWERED\":\" 1,213 people have answered this question\",\"ONE_PERSON_ANSWERED\":\" 1 person has answered this question\",\"TWO_PEOPLE_ANSWERED\":\" 2 people have answered this question\",\"NUM_PEOPLE_RATED__s1\":950,\"NUM_PEOPLE_RATED__s2\":81,\"NUM_PEOPLE_RATED__s3\":47,\"NUM_PEOPLE_RATED__s4\":42,\"NUM_PEOPLE_RATED__s5\":38,\"NUM_PEOPLE_RATED__s6\":54,\"NUM_PEOPLE_RATED__s7\":0,\"NUM_PEOPLE_RATED__s8\":0,\"NUM_PEOPLE_RATED__s9\":0,\"NUM_PEOPLE_RATED__s10\":0}","fbconfig":"{\"message\":\"undefined\",\"name\":\"undefined\",\"link\":\"\",\"source\":\"\",\"picture\":\"http:\\\/\\\/l.yimg.com\\\/a\\\/i\\\/ww\\\/news\\\/2011\\\/09\\\/27\\\/yahoo-tc.jpg\",\"description\":\"\",\"captionLeft\":\"undefined\",\"captionRight\":\"undefined\",\"app_id\":\"196660913708276\",\"redirect_uri\":\"\\\/_xhr\\\/ugcratefbredirect\\\/\"}","template_id":"LONG_SLIDER_SOUTH","obj_id":"ratings_7c419b584ff731edcb19b1a9b18740dd","opt_count":"6","opt_color1":"","opt_color2":"","template_html":"

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/salesforce-launches-social-media-software-185811643--sector.html

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Monday, September 24, 2012

Measuring Communications with Chapters ? Your Advice?

Measuring Success Are you measuring how effective your communications are with your members, or chapters, or affiliates?

Here?s a question for you that came in to me via email from a national organization that has local chapters across the country . . .

?We working hard to improve our communications with our chapters, both enhancing how and what goes out and comes in. We are also trying to set some metrics, such as tracking hits and opens, as well as satisfaction as reported in an annual survey. As we set these metrics for the next three years, we?re trying to see whether any other organizations are measuring the effectiveness of their communications, so that we might be able to benchmark against them.

Let me give one example of a metric: ?60% of chapter leaders report streamlined and improved communications that demonstrate two-way communication in the 2013 annual survey.? And we?d aim to increase that for 2014 and 2015. We just don?t want our numbers to be arbitrary . . .

Do you have any thoughts on this one??

If your organization serves others, like members or chapters or affiliates, how do you go about measuring and reporting the success of those communications? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

P.S. I?m teaching a new webinar next week called Measuring Your Nonprofit Marketing Success for our All-Access Pass holders. I wasn?t going to cover this specific question, but will probably throw it in there now!

Speedometer by BigStock

Tagged as: measuring, metrics

Source: http://www.nonprofitmarketingguide.com/blog/2012/09/24/measuring-communications-with-chapters-your-advice/

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GigaMedia Adds President; Sees Games Business Pick-up in 4Q ...

TAIPEI, Taiwan, Sept. 24, 2012 /PRNewswire/ -- GigaMedia Limited (NASDAQ: GIGM) announced today that games industry veteran Steve Tsao has joined GigaMedia as president and chief operating officer of the company's FunTown online games business.

Mr. Tsao has a proven track record in the online games business, having co-founded and grown two publicly listed game companies. Mr. Tsao co-founded United Arab Emirates-based Tahadi Games and led the company from November 2008 to December 2011 as chief executive officer. During that time, Tahadi expanded its operations to four different countries; valuation increased more than five times. Prior to that, Mr. Tsao co-founded IP E-Games in the Philippines. Under his leadership as a director and president, the company grew in four years from a start-up to a publicly traded market leader in Southeast Asia. Mr. Tsao was also founder, director, and chief operating officer of IP-Ventures Group from 2004 to 2008, an investment incubator focused on technology and media companies in Southeast Asia. He holds a Master of Business Administration degree from the Franklin W. Olin Graduate School of Business at Babson College and a Bachelor of Science degree in chemical engineering from the University of New Hampshire.

"Steve is the real deal: a great strategic thinker with strong operational skills and an avid gamer/successful entrepreneur who knows how to win -- all the skills, qualities and experience we need to build New FunTown," stated GigaMedia Chief Executive Officer John Stringer. "Steve is already driving change to reinvigorate and strengthen New FunTown, positioning our games business for an improved 2013."

"FunTown has great opportunities to grow and create a new business model; our MahJong is renowned in Taiwan and our ARPU from casual games is exceptional," stated FunTown President Steve Tsao. "We intend to capitalize on the value of our brand and our skill in monetizing games as we extend FunTown's platform to Web/mobile games."

"We are focused on leveraging our assets, updating our products, and increasing our efficiencies," stated FunTown President Steve Tsao. "We are also beginning to rebuild development capabilities and explore growth opportunities outside Taiwan."

"As a result, FunTown is on track for improved top and bottom lines in the third quarter compared to the second quarter of 2012," stated FunTown President Steve Tsao. "We are also optimistic of delivering sequential growth in the seasonally strong fourth quarter."

About GigaMedia

Headquartered in Taipei, Taiwan, GigaMedia Limited (Singapore registration number: 199905474H) is a diversified provider of online games and cloud computing services. GigaMedia's online games business develops and operates a suite of games in Asia, with focus on Web-based/mobile games in emerging markets. The company's cloud computing business is focused on providing SMEs in Greater China with critical communications services and IT solutions that increase flexibility, efficiency and competitiveness. More information on GigaMedia can be obtained from www.gigamedia.com.

The statements included above and elsewhere in this press release that are not historical in nature are "forward-looking statements" within the meaning of the "safe harbor" provisions of the Private Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995. GigaMedia cautions readers that forward-looking statements are based on the company's current expectations and involve a number of risks and uncertainties. Actual results may differ materially from those contained in such forward-looking statements. Information as to certain factors that could cause actual results to vary can be found in GigaMedia's Annual Report on Form 20-F filed with the United States Securities and Exchange Commission in April 2012.

For further information contact:

Brad Miller, Investor Relations Director
+886-2-2656-8016
Brad.Miller@GigaMedia.com

SOURCE GigaMedia Limited

Source: http://www.businessreviewusa.com/press_releases/gigamedia-adds-president-sees-games-business-pick-up-in-4q

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In Europe crisis, connection culture stifles youth

ROME (AP) ? Maria Adele Carrai has two master's degrees from Italian universities in economics and Asian languages and is now earning her Ph.D. in international law in Hong Kong. Her linguistic credentials are formidable: Besides native Italian, she has nearly flawless English, a rarity in Italy, as well as French, Arabic, Japanese and Mandarin.

But the 26-year-old from a family of physicians in a small town near the Adriatic Sea, lacks an increasingly crucial key to unlocking the door to work in Italy: a "raccomandazione." It's Italian for the right word from the right person to get you hired, even if you might not be the best one for the job.

As Europe's economic crisis darkens the future of millions of youth, the culture of connections that has lain at the heart of hiring practices in much of the continent is becoming ever more entrenched, even as it harms prospects of recovery. It is blocking young talent or driving it overseas, and contributing to a vicious circle of stagnation that threatens to leave Europe behind in the game of globalization.

___

Editors: This is the latest installment in Class of 2012, an exploration of Europe's financial crisis through the eyes of young people emerging from the cocoon of student life into the worst downturn the continent has seen since the end of World War II.

___

"What matters is not how good you are, but who you know," laments Carrai, who first spoke to the AP for a Class of 2012 story on the continent's devastating brain drain. To be sure, having a good connection never hurts, anytime, anywhere. But in much of Europe, especially the crisis-hammered south, it's often the main ticket to economic opportunity: Without one, young people and experts say, there's little chance of being launched on a promising career.

Marco Pacetti, rector of Ancona's Polytechnical University, puts it this way: "In the U.S. ... connections matter, but you'd better be good. In Italy, nobody counts on the one with the connection to have competence, merit."

"That's the difference between a letter of recommendation and a 'raccomandazione,'" Pacetti says with a wry chuckle. In America, "the letter writer takes on the responsibility of sending over someone who is well prepared ? who's not an idiot."

A scandal at Rome's Sapienza, one of Italy's oldest and best-known universities, drives home the point. In a case dubbed "relative-gate," the wife, daughter and son of Sapienza's longtime rector landed prestigious teaching posts despite having limited qualifications. The real shocker came when it emerged that the rector's son passed his cardiology exam thanks to an examining panel made up of three dentists and two dental hygienists.

Spain has its own deep-rooted system of connections ? called "enchufismo." As in Italy, it's an outgrowth of a Mediterranean culture of family networks where members of the clan look out for each other. Many southern Europeans have a practically inbred distrust of the state, often associated with corruption ? and family is the one institution they can count on.

Connections became less critical during Spain's economic boom from the late 1990s until 2008, but are now proving crucial again in a country with unemployment at nearly 25 percent.

"In Spain, you always had 'enchufismo,' but at least in boom times you had access to interviews and work (without connections)," said Maria Astilleros, an unemployed teacher in Madrid. "Since the crisis hit, the interviews have ended and we've gone back to 'enchufismo.'"

Astilleros recently secured her first job interview in two years, with a public relations company, because the owner is a client of her uncle.

Gayle Allard, an American professor of managerial economics at the IE Business School in Madrid, estimated that about 95 percent of jobs in Spain depend on connections.

"It was one of the things that shocked me in Spain," said Allard, "that you could only move around in the labor market with contacts."

The professor said that such an ingrained culture of nepotism has a corrosive effect on economic growth, which is more crucial than ever as Spain reels under staggeringly high youth unemployment of nearly 53 percent. Spain is "definitely not a meritocracy," Allard said. "You're probably not getting the best qualified candidate for a job. You're just getting the candidate with the best contacts."

Class of 2012 member Moira Koffi, who recently completed her studies at the prestigious Sorbonne university in Paris, talks about the importance of connections in France: "If you are recommended by someone, it's the first thing you say: It's how you get a job."

While Koffi, a 22-year-old communications grad, has herself benefited from the system, she still wishes connections weren't so decisive in finding employment. "In the U.S.," Koffi said, "people give you a chance because of what you are."

Sorbonne sociology professor Jean-Francois Amadieu said that 70 percent of French people find a job through personal connections or through an internship ? which itself is usually only possible with the right connection. "Youths from modest backgrounds have great difficulties finding internships compare to those from the middle or wealthy classes because of more restricted family networks," he said.

In Italy, the connections culture "has grown even more with the worsening of the economic crisis," said economist Emiliano Mandrone. He's well-positioned to know: Every year, Mandrone helps prepare a state-funded telephone survey of some 40,000 citizens to learn how Italians find their jobs.

"The issue of 'raccomandazioni' isn't, do you find work or don't you," said Mandrone. "Rather, the problem is, you take work away from someone who is better."

Mandrone said the price of the "raccomandazione" system to Italian society and economy has not been quantified in financial terms, but it's clearly "huge."

Italy's connections culture has long been blamed in large part for spurring the "brain drain" of many of Italy's best and brightest. The Institute for Competitiveness, a non-profit Italian think tank, recently estimated that brain drain costs Italy some euros 1.2 billion (more than $1.5 billion) annually in terms of lost patent and other royalties from inventions that highly qualified emigrants from Italy developed while working abroad.

In Greece, ground zero for Europe's financial crisis, a vast connections-based political machine is seen as a major factor in the economic implosion. In return for votes, the major parties slotted job seekers with political connections into cushy bureaucratic jobs ? with little experience or qualifications.

The result: When the financial crisis erupted in late 2009, the government didn't even know how many people it had on its payroll or how much it was paying them.

Germany may be an exception to the trend of European talent taking flight or being stymied in realizing professional dreams. In former communist East Germany, who you knew in the party apparatus was very important to climbing the economic ladder. But in today's united Germany, connections are not seen as a major part of corporate culture.

Class of 2012 member Lutz Hentschel, 27, who completed his master's in electrical engineering earlier this year, sent out about 40 applications before landing a job in Berlin developing electrical circuits for elevators.

During his job hunt, he said, he was once interviewed for a job that ultimately went to a less qualified applicant who knew the interviewer.

But, in Germany, said Hentschel, "if you are qualified, you will get a job in the end,"

Britain grapples with another longstanding system of patronage ? its "old school tie network" that conjures up images of men sporting school blazers or hobnobbing in exclusive gentleman's clubs. While Britain has made great strides in becoming more meritocratic, complaints remain rife that access to prestigious jobs often relies on upper-crust social background and education.

In southern Europe, however, the culture of "raccommandazioni" permeates all social classes and sectors ? from landing a job in a bank to winning a building contract.

Carrai, the linguist and aspiring international law expert, ruefully learned how much connections count even in the rarefied world of academia. She moved to Hong Kong to escape the stifling atmosphere of university nepotism: "I saw how it worked. I didn't want to stay in Italy and stick with this system."

"'Raccomandazioni' are to a certain degree a normal, human," she said. But cross a certain line "and it becomes corruption."

___

AP reporters David Stringer in London, Greg Keller in Paris, Barry Hatton in Lisbon, Portugal, Alan Clendenning in Madrid, Spain, David Rising in Berlin, Derek Gatopoulos in Athens, and Paola Barisani in Rome contributed to this report.

___

Follow The Class of 2012 on the AP Big Story page:

http://bigstory.ap.org/topic/class-2012

___

Follow The Class of 2012 on Twitter:

https://twitter.com/(hash)!/AP/class-of-2012

Associated Press

Source: http://hosted2.ap.org/APDEFAULT/f70471f764144b2fab526d39972d37b3/Article_2012-09-24-Class%20of%202012-The%20Right%20Connection/id-fcf4e029ef69443094d6e8f6489d69e3

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Weekend Read: Writer Monique Matthews Makes the Case for ...

Recently, ?I ?had ?breakfast ?with ?one ?of ?my ?dearest ?college ? friends ?who, ?because ?of ?work ?and ?other ?life ?responsibilities, ?I ? don?t ?often ?spend ?as ?much ?time ?with ?as ?I?d ?like.

?Mo, ?I?m ?thinking ?of ?getting ?my ?tubes ?tied.? ? ?I ?looked ? up ?to ?find ?Star ?pouring ?syrup ?on ?her ?recently ?arrived ?waffles ? with ?fresh ?strawberries ?and ?cream. ? ?The ?comment ?had ?to ?come ? from ?her, ?as ?there ?was ?no ?one ?at ?the ?restaurant?s ?table ?besides ? the ?two ?of ?us, ?but ?her ?nonchalant ?demeanor ?seemed ?to ?directly ? counter ?the ?statement ?I ?just ?heard.
The ?fork ?went ?limp ?in ?my ?hand. ? ?This ?was ?quite ?a ?way ? to ?start ?breakfast.

?What ?do ?you ?think?? ?she ?asked. ? ?But, ?by ?the ?dazed ? and ?confused ?expression ?on ?my ?face, ?she ?already ?knew.

?I ?think ?it?s ?pretty ?drastic. ? ?That?s ?major ?surgery,? ?I ? finally ?mustered.

Upon ?further ?research, ?I ?realized ?that ?it ?didn?t ?have ?to ? be. ? ?While ?some ?still ?undergo ?general ?anesthesia ?to ?have ?their ? fallopian ?tubes ?seared ?to ?prevent ?an ?embryo ?from ?developing ? in ?their ?uterus, ?a ?growing ?number ?of ?gynecologists ?perform ? the ?cutting ?of ?a ?woman?s ?reproductive ?organs ?by ?inserting ? implants ?in ?an ?outpatient ?procedure, ?which ?lasts ?less ?than ?an ? hour. ? ?Thus, ?although ?tubal ?ligations ?are ?still ?considered ?a permanent ?method ?of ?birth ?control, ?they ?are ?no ?longer ? considered ?major ?surgery.
Still, ?I ?was ?having ?difficulty ?dealing ?with ?the ?fact ?that ? someone ?I ?care ?so ?deeply ?for ?was ?willing ?to ?rip ?apart ?her ? insides ?because ?her ?outside ?reality ?didn?t ?look ?so ?bright. ? ?More ? specifically, ?Star?s ?career ?was ?peaking, ?but ?her ?love ?life ?was ? not. ? ?Star ?also ?has ?a ?few ?health ?complications, ?which ?now ? prevent ?her ?from ?taking ?the ?pill, ?so ?she ?thought ?having ?her ? tubes ?tied ?was ?the ?most ?rational ?alternative.
?How ?about ?you ?just ?stop ?sleeping ?with ?men ?you ?don?t ? like?? ? ?I ?asked.

She ?looked ?at ?me ?like ?I ?was ?crazy. ? ?Mind ?you, ?I ?did ?not ? suggest ?she ?stop ?sleeping ?with ?men ?period; ?just ?learn ?to ? eliminate ?the ?ones ?who ?she ?did ?not ?get ?along ?with ?outside ?the ? bedroom.

Yet, ?as ?Star ?looked ?at ?me ?and ?I ?looked ?at ?her, ?we ?both ? knew ?the ?reality ?of ?being ?a ?single ?woman ?in ?the ?dating ?game ?? ? sex ?is, ?all ?too ?often, ?a ?prerequisite, ?not ?a ?reward.

Ladies, ?when ?did ?the ?rules ?change?

When ?we ?were ?in ?our ?teens ?and ?early ?20s, ?we ?were ?told ? to ?wait ?for ?someone ?special. ? ?Now, ?it ?doesn?t ?seem ?to ?matter ?if ? he?s ?special ?or ?not, ?if ?he ?has ?a ?xy ?chromosome ?and ?is ? breathing, ?most ?of ?us ?are ?willing ?to ?make ?a ?play. ? ?We ?are ? encouraged ?to ?buy ?into ?the ?scarcity ?and/or ?poverty ?mentality ? that ?there ?isn?t ?enough, ?and ?instead ?of ?believing ?we ?can ?find the ?man ?who?s ?our ?perfect ?match, ?we ?just ?want ?a ?man. ?And, ?of ? course, ?I ?get ?statistics. ? ?I ?read ?them ?too. ? ?But, ?numbers ?don?t ? tell ?the ?full ?story.

For ?instance, ?even ?in ?the ?deepest ?economic ? recession, ?someone, ?somewhere, ?is ?prospering. ? ?Apply ?that ? philosophy ?to ?love, ?and ?you ?may ?be ?among ?those ?who ?thrive ? in ?this ?field ?as ?well.

But, ?instead ?of ?focusing ?on ?how ?we ?can ?be ?one ?of ?the ? ones ?who ?succeed ?in ?love ?and ?life, ?most ?of ?us ?allow ?the ? negative ?to ?overwhelm ?us. ? ? ?Then, ?driven ?by ?the ?fear ?of ? competition, ?such ?as ?vast ?amounts ?of ?single ?women ?and ? dwindling ?resources, ?or ?the ?shortage ?of ?available, ?heterosexual ? men, ?we ?give ?up ?too ?much ?of ?ourselves ?before ?most ?of ?us ?are ? ready ?to ?do ?so.

One ?way ?we ?do ?this ?is ?by ?having ?sex ?before ?we ?are ?truly ? ready. ? ?And, ?yes, ?I ?realize ?that ?we?re ?all ?adults, ?so ?biologically ? speaking, ?we ?don?t ?need ?permission ?from ?anybody ?to ?do ??the ? do.? ? ?I?m ?talking ?about ?the ?check ?in ?the ?gut ?that ?lets ?us ?know ? that ?we ?may ?not ?be ?adequately ?prepared ?emotionally, ? mentally ?and ?spiritually ?to ?let ?someone ?physically ?enter ?our ? bodies.

Some ?of ?us ?will ?say ?we ?do ?it ?because ?it?s ?fun, ?we?re ? stressed, ?and/or ?sex ?is ?a ?great ?release. ? ?And, ?it?s ?true. ? ?Sex ?can ? be ?all ?of ?these ?things. ? ?There ?are ?also ?others ?of ?us, ?however, ? who?ll ?be ?the ?first ?to ?admit ?that ?we ?often ?do ??the ?do? ?because ? we ?are ?keenly ?aware ?of ?the ?adage ?that ?if ?he?s ?not ?getting ?it ? from ?us, ?he?s ?going ?to ?get ?it ?from ?somewhere ?else.

Truthfully, ?he ?may. ?But, ?he ?also ?may ?be ?getting ?it ?from ? somewhere ?else ?and ?you, ?simultaneously. ? ?So, ?your ?giving ?it ? up ?before ?you ?are ?really ?ready ?to ?isn?t ?helping ?your ?intent ?of ? stopping ?him. ? ?However, ?it ?might ?prevent ?him ?from ?getting ?to ? know ?the ?real ?you, ?and ?not ?the ?one ?so ?obsessed ?by ?fear ?and ? lack, ?that ?you ?become ??crazy ?chick? ?and ?go ?off ?on ?him ?when ? the ?relationship ?is ?not ?progressing ?in ?the ?way ?or ?as ?rapidly ?as ? you?d ?like.

Granted, ?there ?are ?a ?few ?of ?us ?who ?only ?want ?a ?good ? time. ? ?But, ?most ?of ?us ?want ?more.
If ?you ?are ?one ?of ?the ?ones ?who ?want ?more, ?beware ?of ? sacrificing ?your ?self-???respect ?to ?get ?a ?piece ?of ?a ?man, ?because ?if ? you ?do, ?you ?will ?probably ?get ?just ?that ?? ?a ?piece ?of ?a ?man. ? Then, ?you ?will ?have ?to ?be ?weary ?of ?complaining ?and ?blame ?the ? male, ?though, ?truthfully, ?he ?never ?even ?claimed ?to ?be ?a ?man. ? ? You ?may ?also ?be ?forced ?to ?admit, ?after ?much ?pain ?and ? heartache, ?that ?you ?didn?t ?really ?take ?the ?time ?to ?see ?if ?you ? really ?wanted ?him; ?you ?merely ?wanted ?someone.

Case ?in ?point: ?a ?friend ?of ?mine ?recently ?had ?dinner ?with ? a ?single ?doctor ?who ?relocated ?to ?Atlanta. ? ?Noting ?the ? supposedly ?high ?proportion ?of ?single ?women ?to ?men, ? rumored ?to ?be ?around ?20:1, ?but ?statistically ?reported ?as ?2:1, ? she ?asked ?him ?about ?his ?dating ?life. ?Surprisingly, ?he ?shared ? that ?he ?wasn?t ?dating ?that ?much. ? ?He ?was, ?however, ?having ?a ? great ?deal ?of ?sex. ??I ?don?t ?even ?have ?to ?ask ?a ?woman ?out,? ?he ? said. ? ??Most ?come ?up ?to ?me. ? ?If ?we ?do ?go ?out, ?they ?pay ?for ?it ?or ? go ?Dutch ?before ?I ?pull ?out ?my ?wallet.?

Most ?of ?the ?women ?don?t ?expect ?a ?second, ?let ?alone, ?a ? third ?date. ? ?They ?offer ?themselves ?up ?for ?a ?good ?time ?and ?he ? readily ?accepts. ? ?What ?shocked ?him ?most, ?however, ?was ?the ? Atlanta ?strip ?clubs. ? ??There ?are ?a ?lot ?more ?women ?in ?there ? than ?I ?expected,? ?he ?said. ? ?Instead ?of ?men ?having ?to ?go ?find ? women, ?the ?women ?go ?where ?the ?guys ?are. ?Even ?more ? alarming, ?for ?him, ?was ?that ?when ?the ?men ?didn?t ?pay ?quick ? enough ?attention, ?these ?women ?started ?paying ?to ?receive ?lap ? dances ?from ?the ?strippers ?to ?up ?the ?ante. ?In ?turn, ?they ?may ? have ?been ?successful ?with ?him ?and ?other ?men ?for ?that ?night, ? but ?nothing ?long-???term. ?Interesting ?enough, ?this ?confirmed ? bachelor ?also ?shared ?that ?he ?wasn?t ?opposed ?to ?settling ?down. ? ? Unfortunately, ?he ?had ?yet ?to ?encounter ?a ?woman ?who ?inspired ? him ?to ?desire ?a ?more ?substantial ?connection.

Thankfully, ?not ?all ?women ?are ?like ?this. ? ?Even ?so, ?we ? cannot ?let ?the ?inmates ?run ?the ?asylum. ? ?I ?don?t ?care ?how ?slim ? the ?pickings ?may ?look. ? ?We ?have ?way ?more ?power ?in ?this ? dating ?game ?than ?we ?are ?giving ?ourselves ?credit ?for.

Consider, ?for ?example, ?how ?much ?men ?have ?done ? historically ?for ?women ?they ?treasure. ? ?Both ?Caesar ?and ?Mark ? Antony, ?for ?instance, ?sacrificed ?their ?power ?as ?heads ?of ?the ? Roman ?state ?(the ?reigning ?world ?power ?at ?that ?time) ?for ? Cleopatra?s ?attention ?and ?favor. ? ?In ?addition, ?there?s ?hardly ?a ? movie, ?myth ?or ?fable ?that ?does ?not ?contain ?some ?element ?of ?a ? man ?sacrificing ?his ?all ?to ?win ?the ?heart ?of ?a ?woman. ? ?Heck, ?are ? you ?aware ?that ?even ?the ?Bible ?records ?(in ?Genesis ?6: ?1 ?? ?2) ?that ? we ?as ?women ?are ?so ?desirable ?that ?angels ?sacrificed ?their ? immortality ?to ?marry ?and ?have ?children ?with ?us?!

We ?are ?powerful, ?Ladies. ? ?Let?s ?own ?it. ? ?Stop ?letting ?the ? terms ?of ?dating ?in ?the ?21st ?Century ?be ?driven ?by ?our ?fears ?of ? scarcity ?and ?lack. ? ?Take ?the ?time ?to ?really ?see ?yourself ?through ? the ?total ?lens ?and ?not ?the ?current ?state ?of ?dating. ? ?If ?you?re ? willing ?to ?slow ?down, ?and ?draw ?further ?into ?yourself, ?you ? may ?really ?understand ?all ?you ?have ?to ?offer ?to ?the ?world. ? ? Taking ?a ?sex-???free ?sabbatical, ?for ?whatever ?duration ?you ? decide, ?may ?allow ?you ?to ?upgrade ?to ?a ?renewed, ?recharged, ? more ?loving, ?beautiful, ?and ?alluring ?you. ? ?In ?case ?you?re ? circling ?the ?field, ?but ?still ?find ?yourself ?on ?the ?fence, ?consider ? the ?following ?for ?being ?sex ?free:

When ?we ?have ?sex, ?we ?are ?physically ?allowing ?another ? being ?to ?penetrate ?our ?core. ? ?Unlike ?our ?heterosexual ? counterparts, ?whose ?sexual ?organ ?is ?external, ?ours ?is ?located ? inside ?of ?us. ? ?Hence, ?when ?we ?let ?someone ?within, ?we ?let ?that ? person ?enter ?the ?center ?of ?our ?being. ?We ?take ?in ?his ?physical, ? as ?well ?as ?spiritual, ?emotional ?and ?mental ?energy. ? ?If ?he?s ?not ? right ?in ?any ?way, ?it ?can ?affects ?us ?for ?hours, ?days, ?months, ?or ? even ?longer. ? ?We ?may ?feel ?slightly ?off ?? ?sad, ?agitated, ?and/or ? even ?angry ?and ?not ?know ?why. ? ?This ?is ?because ?we?ve ?let ? another ?human ?being ?deposit ?his ?energy ?and ?any ?other ? person?s ?energy ?he?s ?slept ?(or ?may ?simultaneously ?be ? sleeping) ?with ?inside ?of ?us. ? ?If ?we ?are ?not ?aware ?of ?this, ?we ? may ?blame ?ourselves ?for ?feeling ?crappy ?without ?an ?idea ?of ? how ?to ?fix ?it.

If ?you ?take ?the ?time ?to ?invest ?in ?yourself, ?you?ll ?be ?in ?a ? much ?better ?position ?to ?know ?what?s ?your ??stuff? ?versus ? someone ?else?s. ?You?ll ?also ?have ?a ?better ?idea ?of ?consciously ? understanding ?what ?types ?of ?deposits ?a ?potential ?paramour ?is ? bringing ?to ?you ?and ?decide ?whether ?or ?not ?you ?want ?to ? receive ?them.

And, ?as ?you ?become ?more ?conscious ?of ?what ?energy ? may ?belong ?to ?you ?and ?what ?may ?belong ?to ?someone ?else, ? you?ll ?be ?able ?to ?focus ?in ?ways ?you ?choose, ?and ?not ?potentially ? have ?it ?dissipated ?by ?trying ?to ?sort ?through ?energy ?that ? doesn?t ?belong ?to ?you. ? ?This ?will ?enable ?you ?to ?have ?laser ? beam ?focus. ? ?Whereas ?a ?light ?bulb ?emanates ?light ?in ?a ?general ? way, ?a ?laser ?beam ?emits ?rays ?that ?are ?focused, ?direct ?and ? incredibly ?powerful. ? ?Imagine ?what ?you ?can ?accomplish ?with ? that ?type ?of ?dynamism!

If ?you ?had ?any ?extra-???time, ?what ?would ?you ?like ?to ? accomplish? ?I ?mean ?an ?achievement ?that ?almost ?makes ?you ? giddy ?with ?excitement ?by ?simply ?thinking ?about ?it. ?Is ?it ?career ? related? ? ?Educationally-???inspired? ? ?Or, ?does ?it ?bring ?out ?your ? daredevil ?qualities? ? ?Like ?skydiving, ?perhaps? ?Or ?maybe ?your ? aspiration ?is ?a ?personal ?goal, ?like ?running ?a ?marathon, ? finishing ?a ?triathlon ?or ?at ?least ?starting ?with ?a ?5K ?walk/race?

Do ?you ?even ?know? ? ?If ?not, ?no ?worries. ? ?This ?is ?what ?a ? sex-???free ?hiatus ?is ?for.

As ?women, ?we ?spend ?an ?enormous ?amount ?of ?time ? being ?caregivers ?for ?everyone ?else. ? ?And, ?while ?it?s ?certainly ? great ?to ?be ?there ?for ?others, ?it?s ?hard ?to ?consistently ?show ?up ? and ?meet ?someone ?else?s ?needs ?when ?we ?don?t ?even ?attend ?to ? our ?own. ?It?s ?very ?similar ?to ?the ?instructions ?flight ?attendants ? give ?before ?we ?take ?off ?on ?airplane ?flights. ? ?In ?the ?event ?of ?an ? emergency, ?the ?first ?thing ?we ?are ?encouraged ?to ?do ?is ?put ?on ? our ?own ?oxygen ?masks ?before ?we ?try ?and ?assist ?anyone ?else. ? ? This ?is ?because ?we ?can?t ?aid ?another ?before ?we ?help ?ourselves.

When ?I ?was ?a ?child, ?my ?dad ?bought ?me ?a ?book ?entitled ? How ?to ?Be ?Your ?Own ?Best ?Friend ?during ?one ?of ?our ?weekly ? father-???daughter ?dates. ? ?I ?was ?around ?eleven ?at ?the ?time, ?so ?I ? had ?no ?idea ?what ?the ?concept, ?perfectly ?summed ?up ?in ?the ? title, ?meant. ?Admittedly, ?I ?also ?thought ?the ?title, ?and ?hence ? concept, ?sounded ?stupid ?as ?most ?adolescent ?girls, ?including ? myself, ?relish ?fitting ?in. ? ?Yet, ?each ?year ?I ?am ?reminded ?how ? invaluable ?it ?is ?to ?treat, ?encourage, ?and ?love ?myself ?as ?deeply ? and ?kindly ?as ?I ?would ?my ?own ?best ?friend.

Becoming ?your ?own ?best ?friend ?is ?perhaps ?one ?of ?the ? best ?ways ?to ?become ?a ?better ?you ?because ?it ?can ?allow ?you ?to ? put ?yourself ?and ?your ?needs ?first ?without ?feeling ?as ?if ?you ?are ? being ?selfish. ?You ?are ?also ?training ?others ?how ?to ?treat ?you. ? ?If ? you ?don?t ?take ?time ?to ?complete ?a ?goal ?and/or ?honor ?a ? personal ?desire ?or ?wish, ?others ?will ?feel ?that ?it?s ?okay ?for ?them ? to ?ignore ?things ?that ?are ?important ?to ?you ?as ?well. ? ?They ?won?t ? pay ?extra ?special ?attention ?to ?the ?things ?that ?matter ?to ?you, ?nor ? will ?they ?feel ?obliged ?to ?do ?so.

But, ?if ?you ?honor ?yourself ?by ?protecting, ?pursuing, ?and ? ultimately ?fulfilling ?those ?things ?that ?are ?special ?to ?you, ?then ? everyone ?else ?who ?enters ?your ?life ?already ?has ?a ?working ? blueprint ?for ?interacting ?with ?you.

Taking ?the ?concept ?one ?step ?further, ?without ?becoming ? a ?better ?you, ?it ?may ?become ?impossible ?to ?get ?the ?best ?life ?has ? to ?offer. ? ?You ?may ?amass ?many ?things ?and ?become ?materially ? very ?successful, ?but ?you ?may ?also ?be ?plagued ?with ?a ?deep ? emotional ?void ?and ?emptiness ?you?re ?not ?able ?to ?understand. ? ? This ?may ?result ?because ?you?ve ?done ?everything ?that ??should? ? make ?you ?happy, ?but ?you ?haven?t ?done ?the ?work ?to ?really ? locate ?what ?brings ?you ?pure, ?unadulterated ?joy.

For ?example, ?there ?are ?several ?popular ?relationship-??? improvement ?books, ?written ?by ?men, ?which ?tell ?women ?how ? men ?think. ? ?And, ?while ?it?s ?great ?to ?have ?as ?many ?weapons ?in ? your ?armor ?to ?succeed ?in ?matters ?of ?the ?heart, ?it?s ?at ?least ? equally ?important ?to ?know ?what ?it ?is ?that ?you ?want ?before ?you ? figure ?out ?how ?to ?think ?like ?a ?man ?or ?realize ?that ?he?s ?just ?not ? that ?into ?you. ? ?Because, ?guess ?what? ? ?After ?a ?little ?soul ? searching ?during ?this ??hiatus ?for ?self? ?time, ?you ?may ?realize ? that ?you ?were ?never ?into ?him ?either.

Since ?adolescence, ?most, ?if ?not ?all ?of ?us, ?have ?been ? warned ?of ?the ?life ?altering ?risks ?of ?an ?unplanned ?pregnancy ? and ?harmful, ?sometimes ?fatal, ?results ?of ?contracting ?a ?sexually ? transmitted ?infection.

Hence, ?it?s ?a ?no-???brainer ?that ?the ?only way ?to ?prevent ?herpes, ?gonorrhea, ?HIV, ?and ?the ?like ?is ?to ? abstain. ? ?Most ?of ?us ?are ?also ?very ?well ?educated ?that ?a ?second ? option ?is ?safer ?sex ?where ?we ?use ?condoms. ? ?Less ?known, ? however, ?are ?the ?rising ?reports ?over ?the ?last ?decade ?about ?the ? growing ?risk ?of ?cancer, ?especially ?cervical ?and ?oral, ?associated ? with ?sex, ?that ?even ?condoms ?cannot ?prevent.

The ?human ?papillomavirus ?or ?HPV ?is ?a ?sexually ? transmitted ?infection ?that ?both ?men ?and ?women ?can ?get. ?It ?is ? spread ?via ?skin-???to-???skin ?contact ?and ?not ?by ?bodily ?fluids. ? ? Hence, ?condom ?use ?cannot ?stop ?the ?spread ?of ?this ?disease.

According ?to ?a ?2011 ?Centers ?for ?Disease ?Control ?(CDC) ? report, ?approximately ?20 ?million ?Americans ?currently ?have ? HPV, ?with ?six ?million ?new ?infections ?being ?discovered ?each ? year.5 ? ?Additionally, ?nearly ?80% ?of ?all ?sexually ?active ?women ? will ?contract ?HPV ?at ?some ?point ?in ?their ?lives. ?HPV ?can ?also ?lie ? dormant ?for ?many ?years, ?making ?it ?incredibly ?difficult, ?for ? some, ?to ?know ?who ?gave ?it ?to ?them. ?And, ?very ?often, ?men ?and ? women, ?alike, ?are ?unaware ?that ?they ?have ?it ?because ?not ? everyone ?who?s ?infected ?has ?symptoms. ? ?Routine ?pap ?smears, ? which ?check ?for ?changes ?in ?cells ?on ?the ?cervix, ?are ?used ?to ? detect ?the ?disease ?in ?women. ? ?Unfortunately, ?there ?are ?no ? current ?detection ?methods ?for ?men. ? ?In ?addition, ?an ?increasing ? amount ?of ?dentists ?are ?beginning ?to ?routinely ?screen ?patients ? from ?oral ?sexual ?encounters ?during ?dental ?checkups.

5 ?Centers ?for ?Disease ?Control ?(CDC). ??Genital ?HPV ?Infection ?? ?Fact ?Sheet.? ? 2011.
When ?symptoms ?do ?exist, ?they ?can ?take ?the ?form ?of ? warts ?on ?the ?genital ?area ?or ?lesions, ?bumps ?and ?skin ? discoloration ?in ?the ?throat, ?tongue ?or ?other ?areas ?within ?the ? mouth.

Most ?of ?the ?time, ?thankfully, ?the ?disease ?disappears ?by ? itself ?(i.e.: ?without ?any ?medical ?treatment) ?within ?two ?years. ? ? But, ?in ?those ?instances ?when ?it ?doesn?t, ?HPV ?is ?the ?primary ? cause ?in ?all ?cases ?of ?cervical ?cancer ?for ?woman ?and ?now ? accounts ?for ?nearly ?25% ?of ?all ?oral ?cancers.

Who ?would?ve ?thought ?that ?cancer ?would ?be ?the ?latest ? in ?a ?long ?string ?of ?health ?risks ?associated ?with ?sex? ? ?It?s ? absolutely ?incredible. ?So, ?as ?you ?weigh ?your ?options ?for ?each ? possible ?sexual ?liaison, ?ask ?yourself, ??Are ?the ?risks ?worth ?it ?to ? have ?sex ?with ?this ?person ?right ?now?? ? ??Is ?he/she ?worth ?my ? life ?and/or ?quality ?of ?living??

Your ?answers ?to ?these ?questions ?may ?provide ?much ? needed ?insight ?into ?your ?feelings ?for ?your ?prospective ?partner ? and ?the ?long-???term ?possibilities ?for ?the ?relationship. ?They ?may ? also ?shed ?light ?on ?where ?you ?are ?mentally ?and ?emotionally, ? which ?can ?be ?another ?reason ?to ?embark ?on ?a ?sex-???free ?hiatus.

In ?addition ?to ?increased ?physical ?health, ?becoming ?sex ? free ?can ?significantly ?contribute ?to ?increased ?mental ?and ? emotional ?health. ? ?Mental ?health ?can ?be ?defined ?as ?one?s ?level ? of ?thinking, ?feeling ?and ?relating ?to ?others. ? ?A ?person ?suffering ? attacks ?to ?his/her ?mental ?health ?may ?experience ?depression, ? anxiety, ?and ?substance-???abuse ?addiction, ?which ?may ?naturally affect ?her ?level ?of ?interaction ?with ?others. ? ?The ?quality ?of ?one?s ? emotional ?health, ?which ?includes ?moods ?and ?the ?way ?an ? individual ?reactions ?to ?situations, ?also ?has ?a ?significant ?impact ? on ?how ?one ?deals ?with ?others. ? ?For ?example, ?if ?a ?person ?has ? unresolved ?anger ?issues ?towards ?someone ?in ?her ?past, ?these ? issues ?may ?manifest ?unexpectedly, ?at ?the ?most ?inappropriate ? time, ?threatening ?a ?current ?or ?future ?relationship.

In ?truth, ?all ?of ?us ?have ?experienced ?hurt ?and ? disappointment. ? ?So, ?it?s ?not ?a ?question ?of ?whether ?or ?not ?we ? ever ?have ?a ?mental ?or ?emotional ?attack, ?it?s ?a ?question ?about ? what ?we ?do ?when ?it ?happens.
Much ?like ?rest ?allows ?the ?physical ?body ?to ?recover ? when ?it?s ?attacked ?by ?an ?ailment, ?a ?relationship ?respite, ?every ? now ?and ?again, ?can ?help ?us ?recover ?from ?wounding ? experiences. ? ?To ?illustrate, ?think ?about ?what ?happens ?when ?we ? experience ?symptoms ?signaling ?the ?beginning ?of ?a ?cold. ? ?If ?we ? immediately ?up ?our ?intake ?of ?vitamin ?C ?and ?zinc ?tabs, ?drink ? more ?liquids ?and ?rest, ?we ?diminish ?the ?length ?and ?severity ?of ? the ?cold. ?We ?also ?reduce ?the ?opportunity ?for ?us ?to ?infect ? others. ?But, ?if ?we ?don?t ?take ?heed, ?or, ?even ?worse, ?do ?the ? opposite ?by ?continuing ?to ?eat ?poorly ?and ?not ?getting ?enough ? sleep, ?we ?are ?not ?only ?heading ?for ?a ?temporary ?shut ?down, ? where ?we ?can?t ?get ?out ?of ?bed ?and/or ?move ?because ?our ? system ?is ?wore ?down, ?we ?can ?also ?make ?others ?sick ?in ?the ? process.

The ?same ?is ?true ?for ?our ?emotional ?health. ? ?When ?you ? are ?hurting, ?it?s ?best ?to ?stop, ?rest ?and ?reflect, ?so ?that ?you ?can become ?renewed, ?refreshed ?and ?ready ?for ?whatever ?comes ? next.

Like what you read? Buy the book here.

?

Monique Matthews, who has a background in entertainment journalism, once served as a managing editor for a national hip-hop publication and currently earns her stripes as a screenwriter and director, does not have the typical background of one holding discussions about abstinence. She is not unattractive, an ultra conservative, nor does she live a low-key lifestyle. Quite the contrary, as a screenwriter who has written for several movie studios, been selected by Daily Variety as one of their ?10 Writers to Watch,? and directed a national awareness commercial that Viacom networks recently donated over a million dollars in advertising time to air, Monique spends her fair share of time enjoying the perks of her high profile career. She?s also guided by a very strong internal compass, which led to her decision of choosing a sex-free lifestyle.

?

Are you a writer that wants to be considered for the ?Weekend Read?? Contact Christelyn at ckarazin@gmail.com.

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Source: http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/weekend-read-writer-monique-matthews-makes-the-case-for-celibacy-in-her-book-sex-free/

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