Recently, ?I ?had ?breakfast ?with ?one ?of ?my ?dearest ?college ? friends ?who, ?because ?of ?work ?and ?other ?life ?responsibilities, ?I ? don?t ?often ?spend ?as ?much ?time ?with ?as ?I?d ?like.
?Mo, ?I?m ?thinking ?of ?getting ?my ?tubes ?tied.? ? ?I ?looked ? up ?to ?find ?Star ?pouring ?syrup ?on ?her ?recently ?arrived ?waffles ? with ?fresh ?strawberries ?and ?cream. ? ?The ?comment ?had ?to ?come ? from ?her, ?as ?there ?was ?no ?one ?at ?the ?restaurant?s ?table ?besides ? the ?two ?of ?us, ?but ?her ?nonchalant ?demeanor ?seemed ?to ?directly ? counter ?the ?statement ?I ?just ?heard.
The ?fork ?went ?limp ?in ?my ?hand. ? ?This ?was ?quite ?a ?way ? to ?start ?breakfast.
?What ?do ?you ?think?? ?she ?asked. ? ?But, ?by ?the ?dazed ? and ?confused ?expression ?on ?my ?face, ?she ?already ?knew.
?I ?think ?it?s ?pretty ?drastic. ? ?That?s ?major ?surgery,? ?I ? finally ?mustered.
Upon ?further ?research, ?I ?realized ?that ?it ?didn?t ?have ?to ? be. ? ?While ?some ?still ?undergo ?general ?anesthesia ?to ?have ?their ? fallopian ?tubes ?seared ?to ?prevent ?an ?embryo ?from ?developing ? in ?their ?uterus, ?a ?growing ?number ?of ?gynecologists ?perform ? the ?cutting ?of ?a ?woman?s ?reproductive ?organs ?by ?inserting ? implants ?in ?an ?outpatient ?procedure, ?which ?lasts ?less ?than ?an ? hour. ? ?Thus, ?although ?tubal ?ligations ?are ?still ?considered ?a permanent ?method ?of ?birth ?control, ?they ?are ?no ?longer ? considered ?major ?surgery.
Still, ?I ?was ?having ?difficulty ?dealing ?with ?the ?fact ?that ? someone ?I ?care ?so ?deeply ?for ?was ?willing ?to ?rip ?apart ?her ? insides ?because ?her ?outside ?reality ?didn?t ?look ?so ?bright. ? ?More ? specifically, ?Star?s ?career ?was ?peaking, ?but ?her ?love ?life ?was ? not. ? ?Star ?also ?has ?a ?few ?health ?complications, ?which ?now ? prevent ?her ?from ?taking ?the ?pill, ?so ?she ?thought ?having ?her ? tubes ?tied ?was ?the ?most ?rational ?alternative.
?How ?about ?you ?just ?stop ?sleeping ?with ?men ?you ?don?t ? like?? ? ?I ?asked.
She ?looked ?at ?me ?like ?I ?was ?crazy. ? ?Mind ?you, ?I ?did ?not ? suggest ?she ?stop ?sleeping ?with ?men ?period; ?just ?learn ?to ? eliminate ?the ?ones ?who ?she ?did ?not ?get ?along ?with ?outside ?the ? bedroom.
Yet, ?as ?Star ?looked ?at ?me ?and ?I ?looked ?at ?her, ?we ?both ? knew ?the ?reality ?of ?being ?a ?single ?woman ?in ?the ?dating ?game ?? ? sex ?is, ?all ?too ?often, ?a ?prerequisite, ?not ?a ?reward.
Ladies, ?when ?did ?the ?rules ?change?
When ?we ?were ?in ?our ?teens ?and ?early ?20s, ?we ?were ?told ? to ?wait ?for ?someone ?special. ? ?Now, ?it ?doesn?t ?seem ?to ?matter ?if ? he?s ?special ?or ?not, ?if ?he ?has ?a ?xy ?chromosome ?and ?is ? breathing, ?most ?of ?us ?are ?willing ?to ?make ?a ?play. ? ?We ?are ? encouraged ?to ?buy ?into ?the ?scarcity ?and/or ?poverty ?mentality ? that ?there ?isn?t ?enough, ?and ?instead ?of ?believing ?we ?can ?find the ?man ?who?s ?our ?perfect ?match, ?we ?just ?want ?a ?man. ?And, ?of ? course, ?I ?get ?statistics. ? ?I ?read ?them ?too. ? ?But, ?numbers ?don?t ? tell ?the ?full ?story.
For ?instance, ?even ?in ?the ?deepest ?economic ? recession, ?someone, ?somewhere, ?is ?prospering. ? ?Apply ?that ? philosophy ?to ?love, ?and ?you ?may ?be ?among ?those ?who ?thrive ? in ?this ?field ?as ?well.
But, ?instead ?of ?focusing ?on ?how ?we ?can ?be ?one ?of ?the ? ones ?who ?succeed ?in ?love ?and ?life, ?most ?of ?us ?allow ?the ? negative ?to ?overwhelm ?us. ? ? ?Then, ?driven ?by ?the ?fear ?of ? competition, ?such ?as ?vast ?amounts ?of ?single ?women ?and ? dwindling ?resources, ?or ?the ?shortage ?of ?available, ?heterosexual ? men, ?we ?give ?up ?too ?much ?of ?ourselves ?before ?most ?of ?us ?are ? ready ?to ?do ?so.
One ?way ?we ?do ?this ?is ?by ?having ?sex ?before ?we ?are ?truly ? ready. ? ?And, ?yes, ?I ?realize ?that ?we?re ?all ?adults, ?so ?biologically ? speaking, ?we ?don?t ?need ?permission ?from ?anybody ?to ?do ??the ? do.? ? ?I?m ?talking ?about ?the ?check ?in ?the ?gut ?that ?lets ?us ?know ? that ?we ?may ?not ?be ?adequately ?prepared ?emotionally, ? mentally ?and ?spiritually ?to ?let ?someone ?physically ?enter ?our ? bodies.
Some ?of ?us ?will ?say ?we ?do ?it ?because ?it?s ?fun, ?we?re ? stressed, ?and/or ?sex ?is ?a ?great ?release. ? ?And, ?it?s ?true. ? ?Sex ?can ? be ?all ?of ?these ?things. ? ?There ?are ?also ?others ?of ?us, ?however, ? who?ll ?be ?the ?first ?to ?admit ?that ?we ?often ?do ??the ?do? ?because ? we ?are ?keenly ?aware ?of ?the ?adage ?that ?if ?he?s ?not ?getting ?it ? from ?us, ?he?s ?going ?to ?get ?it ?from ?somewhere ?else.
Truthfully, ?he ?may. ?But, ?he ?also ?may ?be ?getting ?it ?from ? somewhere ?else ?and ?you, ?simultaneously. ? ?So, ?your ?giving ?it ? up ?before ?you ?are ?really ?ready ?to ?isn?t ?helping ?your ?intent ?of ? stopping ?him. ? ?However, ?it ?might ?prevent ?him ?from ?getting ?to ? know ?the ?real ?you, ?and ?not ?the ?one ?so ?obsessed ?by ?fear ?and ? lack, ?that ?you ?become ??crazy ?chick? ?and ?go ?off ?on ?him ?when ? the ?relationship ?is ?not ?progressing ?in ?the ?way ?or ?as ?rapidly ?as ? you?d ?like.
Granted, ?there ?are ?a ?few ?of ?us ?who ?only ?want ?a ?good ? time. ? ?But, ?most ?of ?us ?want ?more.
If ?you ?are ?one ?of ?the ?ones ?who ?want ?more, ?beware ?of ? sacrificing ?your ?self-???respect ?to ?get ?a ?piece ?of ?a ?man, ?because ?if ? you ?do, ?you ?will ?probably ?get ?just ?that ?? ?a ?piece ?of ?a ?man. ? Then, ?you ?will ?have ?to ?be ?weary ?of ?complaining ?and ?blame ?the ? male, ?though, ?truthfully, ?he ?never ?even ?claimed ?to ?be ?a ?man. ? ? You ?may ?also ?be ?forced ?to ?admit, ?after ?much ?pain ?and ? heartache, ?that ?you ?didn?t ?really ?take ?the ?time ?to ?see ?if ?you ? really ?wanted ?him; ?you ?merely ?wanted ?someone.
Case ?in ?point: ?a ?friend ?of ?mine ?recently ?had ?dinner ?with ? a ?single ?doctor ?who ?relocated ?to ?Atlanta. ? ?Noting ?the ? supposedly ?high ?proportion ?of ?single ?women ?to ?men, ? rumored ?to ?be ?around ?20:1, ?but ?statistically ?reported ?as ?2:1, ? she ?asked ?him ?about ?his ?dating ?life. ?Surprisingly, ?he ?shared ? that ?he ?wasn?t ?dating ?that ?much. ? ?He ?was, ?however, ?having ?a ? great ?deal ?of ?sex. ??I ?don?t ?even ?have ?to ?ask ?a ?woman ?out,? ?he ? said. ? ??Most ?come ?up ?to ?me. ? ?If ?we ?do ?go ?out, ?they ?pay ?for ?it ?or ? go ?Dutch ?before ?I ?pull ?out ?my ?wallet.?
Most ?of ?the ?women ?don?t ?expect ?a ?second, ?let ?alone, ?a ? third ?date. ? ?They ?offer ?themselves ?up ?for ?a ?good ?time ?and ?he ? readily ?accepts. ? ?What ?shocked ?him ?most, ?however, ?was ?the ? Atlanta ?strip ?clubs. ? ??There ?are ?a ?lot ?more ?women ?in ?there ? than ?I ?expected,? ?he ?said. ? ?Instead ?of ?men ?having ?to ?go ?find ? women, ?the ?women ?go ?where ?the ?guys ?are. ?Even ?more ? alarming, ?for ?him, ?was ?that ?when ?the ?men ?didn?t ?pay ?quick ? enough ?attention, ?these ?women ?started ?paying ?to ?receive ?lap ? dances ?from ?the ?strippers ?to ?up ?the ?ante. ?In ?turn, ?they ?may ? have ?been ?successful ?with ?him ?and ?other ?men ?for ?that ?night, ? but ?nothing ?long-???term. ?Interesting ?enough, ?this ?confirmed ? bachelor ?also ?shared ?that ?he ?wasn?t ?opposed ?to ?settling ?down. ? ? Unfortunately, ?he ?had ?yet ?to ?encounter ?a ?woman ?who ?inspired ? him ?to ?desire ?a ?more ?substantial ?connection.
Thankfully, ?not ?all ?women ?are ?like ?this. ? ?Even ?so, ?we ? cannot ?let ?the ?inmates ?run ?the ?asylum. ? ?I ?don?t ?care ?how ?slim ? the ?pickings ?may ?look. ? ?We ?have ?way ?more ?power ?in ?this ? dating ?game ?than ?we ?are ?giving ?ourselves ?credit ?for.
Consider, ?for ?example, ?how ?much ?men ?have ?done ? historically ?for ?women ?they ?treasure. ? ?Both ?Caesar ?and ?Mark ? Antony, ?for ?instance, ?sacrificed ?their ?power ?as ?heads ?of ?the ? Roman ?state ?(the ?reigning ?world ?power ?at ?that ?time) ?for ? Cleopatra?s ?attention ?and ?favor. ? ?In ?addition, ?there?s ?hardly ?a ? movie, ?myth ?or ?fable ?that ?does ?not ?contain ?some ?element ?of ?a ? man ?sacrificing ?his ?all ?to ?win ?the ?heart ?of ?a ?woman. ? ?Heck, ?are ? you ?aware ?that ?even ?the ?Bible ?records ?(in ?Genesis ?6: ?1 ?? ?2) ?that ? we ?as ?women ?are ?so ?desirable ?that ?angels ?sacrificed ?their ? immortality ?to ?marry ?and ?have ?children ?with ?us?!
We ?are ?powerful, ?Ladies. ? ?Let?s ?own ?it. ? ?Stop ?letting ?the ? terms ?of ?dating ?in ?the ?21st ?Century ?be ?driven ?by ?our ?fears ?of ? scarcity ?and ?lack. ? ?Take ?the ?time ?to ?really ?see ?yourself ?through ? the ?total ?lens ?and ?not ?the ?current ?state ?of ?dating. ? ?If ?you?re ? willing ?to ?slow ?down, ?and ?draw ?further ?into ?yourself, ?you ? may ?really ?understand ?all ?you ?have ?to ?offer ?to ?the ?world. ? ? Taking ?a ?sex-???free ?sabbatical, ?for ?whatever ?duration ?you ? decide, ?may ?allow ?you ?to ?upgrade ?to ?a ?renewed, ?recharged, ? more ?loving, ?beautiful, ?and ?alluring ?you. ? ?In ?case ?you?re ? circling ?the ?field, ?but ?still ?find ?yourself ?on ?the ?fence, ?consider ? the ?following ?for ?being ?sex ?free:
When ?we ?have ?sex, ?we ?are ?physically ?allowing ?another ? being ?to ?penetrate ?our ?core. ? ?Unlike ?our ?heterosexual ? counterparts, ?whose ?sexual ?organ ?is ?external, ?ours ?is ?located ? inside ?of ?us. ? ?Hence, ?when ?we ?let ?someone ?within, ?we ?let ?that ? person ?enter ?the ?center ?of ?our ?being. ?We ?take ?in ?his ?physical, ? as ?well ?as ?spiritual, ?emotional ?and ?mental ?energy. ? ?If ?he?s ?not ? right ?in ?any ?way, ?it ?can ?affects ?us ?for ?hours, ?days, ?months, ?or ? even ?longer. ? ?We ?may ?feel ?slightly ?off ?? ?sad, ?agitated, ?and/or ? even ?angry ?and ?not ?know ?why. ? ?This ?is ?because ?we?ve ?let ? another ?human ?being ?deposit ?his ?energy ?and ?any ?other ? person?s ?energy ?he?s ?slept ?(or ?may ?simultaneously ?be ? sleeping) ?with ?inside ?of ?us. ? ?If ?we ?are ?not ?aware ?of ?this, ?we ? may ?blame ?ourselves ?for ?feeling ?crappy ?without ?an ?idea ?of ? how ?to ?fix ?it.
If ?you ?take ?the ?time ?to ?invest ?in ?yourself, ?you?ll ?be ?in ?a ? much ?better ?position ?to ?know ?what?s ?your ??stuff? ?versus ? someone ?else?s. ?You?ll ?also ?have ?a ?better ?idea ?of ?consciously ? understanding ?what ?types ?of ?deposits ?a ?potential ?paramour ?is ? bringing ?to ?you ?and ?decide ?whether ?or ?not ?you ?want ?to ? receive ?them.
And, ?as ?you ?become ?more ?conscious ?of ?what ?energy ? may ?belong ?to ?you ?and ?what ?may ?belong ?to ?someone ?else, ? you?ll ?be ?able ?to ?focus ?in ?ways ?you ?choose, ?and ?not ?potentially ? have ?it ?dissipated ?by ?trying ?to ?sort ?through ?energy ?that ? doesn?t ?belong ?to ?you. ? ?This ?will ?enable ?you ?to ?have ?laser ? beam ?focus. ? ?Whereas ?a ?light ?bulb ?emanates ?light ?in ?a ?general ? way, ?a ?laser ?beam ?emits ?rays ?that ?are ?focused, ?direct ?and ? incredibly ?powerful. ? ?Imagine ?what ?you ?can ?accomplish ?with ? that ?type ?of ?dynamism!
If ?you ?had ?any ?extra-???time, ?what ?would ?you ?like ?to ? accomplish? ?I ?mean ?an ?achievement ?that ?almost ?makes ?you ? giddy ?with ?excitement ?by ?simply ?thinking ?about ?it. ?Is ?it ?career ? related? ? ?Educationally-???inspired? ? ?Or, ?does ?it ?bring ?out ?your ? daredevil ?qualities? ? ?Like ?skydiving, ?perhaps? ?Or ?maybe ?your ? aspiration ?is ?a ?personal ?goal, ?like ?running ?a ?marathon, ? finishing ?a ?triathlon ?or ?at ?least ?starting ?with ?a ?5K ?walk/race?
Do ?you ?even ?know? ? ?If ?not, ?no ?worries. ? ?This ?is ?what ?a ? sex-???free ?hiatus ?is ?for.
As ?women, ?we ?spend ?an ?enormous ?amount ?of ?time ? being ?caregivers ?for ?everyone ?else. ? ?And, ?while ?it?s ?certainly ? great ?to ?be ?there ?for ?others, ?it?s ?hard ?to ?consistently ?show ?up ? and ?meet ?someone ?else?s ?needs ?when ?we ?don?t ?even ?attend ?to ? our ?own. ?It?s ?very ?similar ?to ?the ?instructions ?flight ?attendants ? give ?before ?we ?take ?off ?on ?airplane ?flights. ? ?In ?the ?event ?of ?an ? emergency, ?the ?first ?thing ?we ?are ?encouraged ?to ?do ?is ?put ?on ? our ?own ?oxygen ?masks ?before ?we ?try ?and ?assist ?anyone ?else. ? ? This ?is ?because ?we ?can?t ?aid ?another ?before ?we ?help ?ourselves.
When ?I ?was ?a ?child, ?my ?dad ?bought ?me ?a ?book ?entitled ? How ?to ?Be ?Your ?Own ?Best ?Friend ?during ?one ?of ?our ?weekly ? father-???daughter ?dates. ? ?I ?was ?around ?eleven ?at ?the ?time, ?so ?I ? had ?no ?idea ?what ?the ?concept, ?perfectly ?summed ?up ?in ?the ? title, ?meant. ?Admittedly, ?I ?also ?thought ?the ?title, ?and ?hence ? concept, ?sounded ?stupid ?as ?most ?adolescent ?girls, ?including ? myself, ?relish ?fitting ?in. ? ?Yet, ?each ?year ?I ?am ?reminded ?how ? invaluable ?it ?is ?to ?treat, ?encourage, ?and ?love ?myself ?as ?deeply ? and ?kindly ?as ?I ?would ?my ?own ?best ?friend.
Becoming ?your ?own ?best ?friend ?is ?perhaps ?one ?of ?the ? best ?ways ?to ?become ?a ?better ?you ?because ?it ?can ?allow ?you ?to ? put ?yourself ?and ?your ?needs ?first ?without ?feeling ?as ?if ?you ?are ? being ?selfish. ?You ?are ?also ?training ?others ?how ?to ?treat ?you. ? ?If ? you ?don?t ?take ?time ?to ?complete ?a ?goal ?and/or ?honor ?a ? personal ?desire ?or ?wish, ?others ?will ?feel ?that ?it?s ?okay ?for ?them ? to ?ignore ?things ?that ?are ?important ?to ?you ?as ?well. ? ?They ?won?t ? pay ?extra ?special ?attention ?to ?the ?things ?that ?matter ?to ?you, ?nor ? will ?they ?feel ?obliged ?to ?do ?so.
But, ?if ?you ?honor ?yourself ?by ?protecting, ?pursuing, ?and ? ultimately ?fulfilling ?those ?things ?that ?are ?special ?to ?you, ?then ? everyone ?else ?who ?enters ?your ?life ?already ?has ?a ?working ? blueprint ?for ?interacting ?with ?you.
Taking ?the ?concept ?one ?step ?further, ?without ?becoming ? a ?better ?you, ?it ?may ?become ?impossible ?to ?get ?the ?best ?life ?has ? to ?offer. ? ?You ?may ?amass ?many ?things ?and ?become ?materially ? very ?successful, ?but ?you ?may ?also ?be ?plagued ?with ?a ?deep ? emotional ?void ?and ?emptiness ?you?re ?not ?able ?to ?understand. ? ? This ?may ?result ?because ?you?ve ?done ?everything ?that ??should? ? make ?you ?happy, ?but ?you ?haven?t ?done ?the ?work ?to ?really ? locate ?what ?brings ?you ?pure, ?unadulterated ?joy.
For ?example, ?there ?are ?several ?popular ?relationship-??? improvement ?books, ?written ?by ?men, ?which ?tell ?women ?how ? men ?think. ? ?And, ?while ?it?s ?great ?to ?have ?as ?many ?weapons ?in ? your ?armor ?to ?succeed ?in ?matters ?of ?the ?heart, ?it?s ?at ?least ? equally ?important ?to ?know ?what ?it ?is ?that ?you ?want ?before ?you ? figure ?out ?how ?to ?think ?like ?a ?man ?or ?realize ?that ?he?s ?just ?not ? that ?into ?you. ? ?Because, ?guess ?what? ? ?After ?a ?little ?soul ? searching ?during ?this ??hiatus ?for ?self? ?time, ?you ?may ?realize ? that ?you ?were ?never ?into ?him ?either.
Since ?adolescence, ?most, ?if ?not ?all ?of ?us, ?have ?been ? warned ?of ?the ?life ?altering ?risks ?of ?an ?unplanned ?pregnancy ? and ?harmful, ?sometimes ?fatal, ?results ?of ?contracting ?a ?sexually ? transmitted ?infection.
Hence, ?it?s ?a ?no-???brainer ?that ?the ?only way ?to ?prevent ?herpes, ?gonorrhea, ?HIV, ?and ?the ?like ?is ?to ? abstain. ? ?Most ?of ?us ?are ?also ?very ?well ?educated ?that ?a ?second ? option ?is ?safer ?sex ?where ?we ?use ?condoms. ? ?Less ?known, ? however, ?are ?the ?rising ?reports ?over ?the ?last ?decade ?about ?the ? growing ?risk ?of ?cancer, ?especially ?cervical ?and ?oral, ?associated ? with ?sex, ?that ?even ?condoms ?cannot ?prevent.
The ?human ?papillomavirus ?or ?HPV ?is ?a ?sexually ? transmitted ?infection ?that ?both ?men ?and ?women ?can ?get. ?It ?is ? spread ?via ?skin-???to-???skin ?contact ?and ?not ?by ?bodily ?fluids. ? ? Hence, ?condom ?use ?cannot ?stop ?the ?spread ?of ?this ?disease.
According ?to ?a ?2011 ?Centers ?for ?Disease ?Control ?(CDC) ? report, ?approximately ?20 ?million ?Americans ?currently ?have ? HPV, ?with ?six ?million ?new ?infections ?being ?discovered ?each ? year.5 ? ?Additionally, ?nearly ?80% ?of ?all ?sexually ?active ?women ? will ?contract ?HPV ?at ?some ?point ?in ?their ?lives. ?HPV ?can ?also ?lie ? dormant ?for ?many ?years, ?making ?it ?incredibly ?difficult, ?for ? some, ?to ?know ?who ?gave ?it ?to ?them. ?And, ?very ?often, ?men ?and ? women, ?alike, ?are ?unaware ?that ?they ?have ?it ?because ?not ? everyone ?who?s ?infected ?has ?symptoms. ? ?Routine ?pap ?smears, ? which ?check ?for ?changes ?in ?cells ?on ?the ?cervix, ?are ?used ?to ? detect ?the ?disease ?in ?women. ? ?Unfortunately, ?there ?are ?no ? current ?detection ?methods ?for ?men. ? ?In ?addition, ?an ?increasing ? amount ?of ?dentists ?are ?beginning ?to ?routinely ?screen ?patients ? from ?oral ?sexual ?encounters ?during ?dental ?checkups.
5 ?Centers ?for ?Disease ?Control ?(CDC). ??Genital ?HPV ?Infection ?? ?Fact ?Sheet.? ? 2011.
When ?symptoms ?do ?exist, ?they ?can ?take ?the ?form ?of ? warts ?on ?the ?genital ?area ?or ?lesions, ?bumps ?and ?skin ? discoloration ?in ?the ?throat, ?tongue ?or ?other ?areas ?within ?the ? mouth.
Most ?of ?the ?time, ?thankfully, ?the ?disease ?disappears ?by ? itself ?(i.e.: ?without ?any ?medical ?treatment) ?within ?two ?years. ? ? But, ?in ?those ?instances ?when ?it ?doesn?t, ?HPV ?is ?the ?primary ? cause ?in ?all ?cases ?of ?cervical ?cancer ?for ?woman ?and ?now ? accounts ?for ?nearly ?25% ?of ?all ?oral ?cancers.
Who ?would?ve ?thought ?that ?cancer ?would ?be ?the ?latest ? in ?a ?long ?string ?of ?health ?risks ?associated ?with ?sex? ? ?It?s ? absolutely ?incredible. ?So, ?as ?you ?weigh ?your ?options ?for ?each ? possible ?sexual ?liaison, ?ask ?yourself, ??Are ?the ?risks ?worth ?it ?to ? have ?sex ?with ?this ?person ?right ?now?? ? ??Is ?he/she ?worth ?my ? life ?and/or ?quality ?of ?living??
Your ?answers ?to ?these ?questions ?may ?provide ?much ? needed ?insight ?into ?your ?feelings ?for ?your ?prospective ?partner ? and ?the ?long-???term ?possibilities ?for ?the ?relationship. ?They ?may ? also ?shed ?light ?on ?where ?you ?are ?mentally ?and ?emotionally, ? which ?can ?be ?another ?reason ?to ?embark ?on ?a ?sex-???free ?hiatus.
In ?addition ?to ?increased ?physical ?health, ?becoming ?sex ? free ?can ?significantly ?contribute ?to ?increased ?mental ?and ? emotional ?health. ? ?Mental ?health ?can ?be ?defined ?as ?one?s ?level ? of ?thinking, ?feeling ?and ?relating ?to ?others. ? ?A ?person ?suffering ? attacks ?to ?his/her ?mental ?health ?may ?experience ?depression, ? anxiety, ?and ?substance-???abuse ?addiction, ?which ?may ?naturally affect ?her ?level ?of ?interaction ?with ?others. ? ?The ?quality ?of ?one?s ? emotional ?health, ?which ?includes ?moods ?and ?the ?way ?an ? individual ?reactions ?to ?situations, ?also ?has ?a ?significant ?impact ? on ?how ?one ?deals ?with ?others. ? ?For ?example, ?if ?a ?person ?has ? unresolved ?anger ?issues ?towards ?someone ?in ?her ?past, ?these ? issues ?may ?manifest ?unexpectedly, ?at ?the ?most ?inappropriate ? time, ?threatening ?a ?current ?or ?future ?relationship.
In ?truth, ?all ?of ?us ?have ?experienced ?hurt ?and ? disappointment. ? ?So, ?it?s ?not ?a ?question ?of ?whether ?or ?not ?we ? ever ?have ?a ?mental ?or ?emotional ?attack, ?it?s ?a ?question ?about ? what ?we ?do ?when ?it ?happens.
Much ?like ?rest ?allows ?the ?physical ?body ?to ?recover ? when ?it?s ?attacked ?by ?an ?ailment, ?a ?relationship ?respite, ?every ? now ?and ?again, ?can ?help ?us ?recover ?from ?wounding ? experiences. ? ?To ?illustrate, ?think ?about ?what ?happens ?when ?we ? experience ?symptoms ?signaling ?the ?beginning ?of ?a ?cold. ? ?If ?we ? immediately ?up ?our ?intake ?of ?vitamin ?C ?and ?zinc ?tabs, ?drink ? more ?liquids ?and ?rest, ?we ?diminish ?the ?length ?and ?severity ?of ? the ?cold. ?We ?also ?reduce ?the ?opportunity ?for ?us ?to ?infect ? others. ?But, ?if ?we ?don?t ?take ?heed, ?or, ?even ?worse, ?do ?the ? opposite ?by ?continuing ?to ?eat ?poorly ?and ?not ?getting ?enough ? sleep, ?we ?are ?not ?only ?heading ?for ?a ?temporary ?shut ?down, ? where ?we ?can?t ?get ?out ?of ?bed ?and/or ?move ?because ?our ? system ?is ?wore ?down, ?we ?can ?also ?make ?others ?sick ?in ?the ? process.
The ?same ?is ?true ?for ?our ?emotional ?health. ? ?When ?you ? are ?hurting, ?it?s ?best ?to ?stop, ?rest ?and ?reflect, ?so ?that ?you ?can become ?renewed, ?refreshed ?and ?ready ?for ?whatever ?comes ? next.
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Monique Matthews, who has a background in entertainment journalism, once served as a managing editor for a national hip-hop publication and currently earns her stripes as a screenwriter and director, does not have the typical background of one holding discussions about abstinence. She is not unattractive, an ultra conservative, nor does she live a low-key lifestyle. Quite the contrary, as a screenwriter who has written for several movie studios, been selected by Daily Variety as one of their ?10 Writers to Watch,? and directed a national awareness commercial that Viacom networks recently donated over a million dollars in advertising time to air, Monique spends her fair share of time enjoying the perks of her high profile career. She?s also guided by a very strong internal compass, which led to her decision of choosing a sex-free lifestyle.
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Are you a writer that wants to be considered for the ?Weekend Read?? Contact Christelyn at ckarazin@gmail.com.
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